Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Cut me some slack...


      I received tons of encouragement after my last post.  Thank you.  I had so many ladies tell me they knew exactly how I felt.  Part of the reason I wanted to send my insecurities out into cyber space was because I figured I couldn’t be the only mom that had ever felt this way and I didn’t want to be alone with these thoughts anymore.  For all of ya’ll that said “I feel the same way” I hope you got a little boost in the few minutes we spent together in my blog.
     Jason has been telling me I need to cut myself some slack ever since Ty was born.  I’ve been trying to remember what is really important: a breast-fed baby, a drawer full of clean uniforms for Jason.  But still at the beginning of the day I’m being chased by a long list of things that I know will be left undone.  I need to “cut myself some slack” but what does that mean?  Is it eating whatever I want?  Is it ignoring the dishes and laundry (newsflash…they are still there in the morning.)  Or my personal favorite:  leave my small, cluttered house behind and head off to a bright shiny place where all the clothes are folded and the floors are clean.  Hey, shopping counts as cardio, right?  Thankfully, I haven’t indulged (too much) in any of these temporary solutions, but I’m still left with not enough slack in my life.
     I found the answer a few days ago.  Actually, I was given the answer by my forever-wise mama.  Cutting myself some slack doesn’t mean starting the day with a shorter to-do list.  I had been trying to decide what things should be cut out of my day so my list could be completed.  This is discouraging because all the fun stuff (decorating, coffee with a girlfriend, writing) gets cut first and I still wasn’t able to check everything off my list.  If you think about it, the fact that I’m wearing clothes right now means there will be dirty laundry when I go to bed tonight.  It’s all about not being so hard on myself at the end of the day.  It’s about knowing I worked hard or even that I played hard and it’s okay to be okay with that.  I was looking for slack at the start of the day, but really it’s needed at the end.  Reminds me of maternity clothes; gives a little extra room where I need it but keeps me from getting caught with my pants down.

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