Friday, April 27, 2012

More Thoughts on Comparing...

   I have loved becoming more and more involved in the blogging community.  So many other ladies being mommies, wives, writers, gigglers, encouragers.  When I have a few “me” minutes I wander around this world and find myself excited and smiling.  Then I return home and I feel the air begin to leak out of my balloon.  Thoughts about never being enough and just plain “nobody likes me” start to float around in my head.  I try my best to combat this despair by remembering everybody has to start somewhere and I just have to keep working at it.

   But is this true?  If I just keep at it will I become like them? Maybe.  Maybe not.  I want to find the place where doing my best and enjoying myself is enough.  Like wearing a hat just because I like it.  Why do I blog? I blog because I want to create something that entertains.  I want to laugh.  I want to connect to people through the written word. I want to launch a writing career.  And if I’m completely honest I want the “Cool Kids” of the blogging world to like me.

   Of course when I read this list, I see the one that’s not so healthy.  Comparing myself to the “Cool Kids” wasn’t a good idea in middle school, and it’s not a good idea now.  So that’s where I am.  Working on finding comfort, enjoyment, and validation in the work I do. I’ve been surprised at the number of people who have given me positive feedback on this thing I’m attempting to create.  (Thank you!)  But this comparison thing has to be fixed on the inside.  And I’m working on it.  Struggling with it.  I’m trying to believe “just being me” is enough, because honestly, I can only pretend to be what I wish I was for so long.

16 comments:

  1. Very well said. It is something we all struggle with, I think. At least I know I do. Sure do appreciate your transparency.

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    1. Thank you for the comment. Talking or writing about it helps to work through it, ya know?

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  2. We ALL struggle with wanting to fit in. I found that it doesn't really matter in the bigger scheme of things. Just being happy with yourself and not feeling the need to be "as good" or "as popular" as others or other blogs, is all that matters. For the most part though, the blogging community has been warm and obliging. A lot more so than kids in my middle school were to me anyhow!! :)

    Thanks for stopping by the blog hop!! I followed you. I hope if you have a chance, you come by my blog and follow back :)

    http://www.whatjeanlikes.com

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    1. Hey Jean,
      Thanks for the comment. I have meet so many great ladies through their blogs. Part of the reason I know I need to get over this whole thing is because I don't want to miss out on the fun because I'm too busy comparing.
      Abbie

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  3. Love the blog!!! Saw you on the Hop. Please follow me back!!!
    http://www.simplyheavenlyfood.com/

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    1. Thanks for the follow. Have a great weekend

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  4. Can I tell ya a little secret?... when I first started localsugarhawaii.com, like, just yesterday-- I was embarrassed to put my followers list up 'cause there were like three at the time, 2 of which were my father in-law and myself. And so I didn't, and I had numerous friends say "hey, we can't figure out how to follow you" and I thought "oh well, at least they don't know there are only 3 people here"-- long story short, I couldn't grow without first being able to embrace my uncoolness and that sucked a bit-- well a whole lotta bits, and then I realized it's o.k. to be where you are today-- this is your starting point not your finish and the race is long and filled with tons of twists and turns and prizes along the way... You get to run in this race, somedays, somehow that's enough if you'll let it be-- I sure do hope you'll let it be because it's sweeter here with your voice in the mix.

    Feel free to email anytime if you wanna chat, share ideas (I'm super new but I may be able to share a few tips that might help spare ya some heartache and speed you along on your journey).

    Thanks for joining the ALOHA Friday HOP! I'm so glad to be one of your newest followers.

    xoxo,
    Nicole
    localsugarhawaii.com

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    1. Wow what sweet words! I am so encouraged when I think about the prizes ALONG THE WAY. I never thought of it that way. I love hanging out at your page! (I left you a comment on your "bonging the captain" post, but I don't think it went through.) Thanks again for taking the time to write me such thoughtful words.
      Abbie

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  5. Hi I saw you on the blog hop Follow me Wednesday.I am your newest follower.
    I have not been blogging for long, only a couple of months. When I first started I was looking at the "cool blogs" with lots of followers. I wanted to be like them, I wanted to design my blog look in one day. I wanted to leave comments every where so that I could get lots of followers. But than one day I realized that what I was doing it was not me, it was them. I was trying to be like them and not be myself through my blog. I went back to the beginning when these bloggers first started and noticed that they did not start with a perfect blog, with great pictures. They learned as they went. So I stopped comparing myself. I found tutorials on how to design my blog the way I wanted it to be. I started writing about the things that I liked and enjoyed, and little by little the followers started coming. Once I started being myself and stopped trying to be like everyone else. The main question's I asked myself was "Why do I like to blog?" Am I blogging for money?, am I blogging to just have followers? or am I blogging because I enjoy it and it is my little haven and escape from every day life?" Once I answered my self those questions I was able to move on.

    Good luck on your journey, feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions.

    Shirley @ http://motivatedmommyoftwo.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thank you for the encouragment. I took a look at your blog. So cute! I love the pictures across the top. Great job with your weight, too. I have an eight month old so it's just about time for me to get serious about baby weight;) Have a great weekend. Your sweet words really touched me.
      Abbie

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  6. I'm not one of the cool kids yet, but I like you! That is what I think is so great about the blogging world. There are too many cool blogs/moms/people to meet and read and they range from small to enormous sized blogs. I am glad to have found you!
    Jennifer
    http://www.practicallyperfectprincess.com/

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    1. Thanks for the comment. I can't wait to hop over and visit you, too.
      Abbie

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  7. I just came over from What Jean Likes. I know how you feel about the "Cool Kid" blogs. I started looking at blogs that had only been up a year and thousands of followers. It made me wonder what was so special about them. Then I had to realize that I started my blog as a way for family to see my son grow up, not to be "Prom Queen". (Although that would be fun too).
    Your posts are great. Before you know it, you will be out of the band and on the way to Head Cheerleader. ;0

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    1. Haha love your "prom queen" comments. You're right it would be fun to be head cheerleader!!!! Thanks for saying "hi"
      Abbie

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  8. I think all new bloggers go through this, I am not one of the cool kids. I consider myself still a baby and learning every step of the way. It takes time, and dedication to be a "cool kid" We'll get there :)


    Stopping by via the Happy Aloha Friday, following you everywhere I can.

    I have a couple of giveaways going on over on my blog here's one of them
    http://www.scatteredmusings.net/2012/04/medley-lip-balm-tubes-reviewgiveaway

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    1. Thank you for stopping by and thanks for the follow.
      Abbie

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